If you are planning on attending the Oktoberfest festival in Munich, Germany and looking for a complete, all-inclusive, How-To guide, turn away now and look elsewhere, this isn’t it.

Well, it was supposed to be, but considering I only spent two days at the festival and was suspended in a constant, hazy, half-blackout state the entire time, I don’t exactly remember many of the details, certainly not enough to write a half-decent post about it. Nonetheless, I went, I drank, and I may not remember all of it, but I know I sure as hell experienced it and enjoyed every second of it (until I had to check out at 10am the next morning and take a four hour train to Berlin…that part sucked).

Anyways, here’s the worst Oktoberfest guide you will ever read…enjoy!

What’s Oktoberfest?

Simply put, Oktoberfest is the largest beer festival in the world. Around 6 million visitors from around the world attend and nearly 8 million liters of beer is consumed each year. The festival is held in Munich, Germany and runs from mid-September to the first weekend of October and has been held annually for over two hundred years.

Oktoberfest is an important part of local Bavarian culture and most attendees will dress up in traditional lederhose for men (literally translates to “leather pants”) and dirndls for women. One common misconception, which my ignorant self also made, is that these are costumes specific for Oktoberfest. They are actually traditional Bavarian dress and are often worn at weddings, or even just during everyday life. In addition, while the festival is characterized by binge drinking and partying, it is also a family event and many families with small children will be running around.

Accommodation

First thing anyone planning on going to Oktoberfest needs to know is that it is VERY expensive. All the hostels raise their prices during the festival season and many are fully booked months ahead of time. Of course, I did no such planning and waited until just two weeks before to look for rooms (not advised). The cheapest place I could find was called Jaeger’s Munich for 55 Euros per night ($63USD) and I actually got extremely lucky as I booked the last available bed there. After that, prices went up to 120-140 Euros per night (for a hostel dorm bed!!). I did hear stories about a massive tent outside the city that sleeps hundreds of people for 20 or so Euros a night, but as I have my laptop and all my camera gear with me, I was not too keen on leaving these valuables in a tent with a couple hundred drunk strangers wandering around. So I sullenly paid the extra price for a (relatively) comfortable bed and security.

I was originally planning on staying at Oktoberfest for five days, but once I saw the prices, decided I could only afford two. Turns out, two days was more than plenty and I honestly don’t know if I would have survived five days of that much beer consumption.

Finding an Outfit

In addition to accommodation, finding a pair of lederhose or a dirndl can be quite costly. Cheap, low quality lederhose can be found for 70-80 Euros while a decent pair will run well over 100 Euros. For a really nice pair, like the locals have that are supposed to last a lifetime, can be anywhere from 600-800 Euros. A dirndl will likely be between 100-200. For someone like me, who has limited luggage space and would only where the outfit once, buying an expensive pair of lederhose does not seem very reasonable. It is perfectly fine to attend without a traditional outfit, and many people do, but you will surely stick out. Plus, if you have a serious case of FOMO like me, dressing up is a large part of the fun!

Luckily, I found a place called Bavarian Outifitters that rented outfits. A pair of lederhose costed 33 Euros for a day. Socks and shirts to complete the outfit costed an extra 15 Euros, but I just wore my own shirt underneath (if you don’t have a button up shirt–preferably checkered or plaid–I would rent one as you will look pretty dumb wearing a t-shirt under your lederhose). For women, a dirndl cost just under 50 Euros for one day. The nice thing about renting from Bavarian Outfitters is all of their outfits are of high quality and you will look great at the festival! However, if you are attending the festival for multiple days, it would likely be cheaper to buy one.

What to Expect

Honestly, don’t go in with expectations because once you go in, anything could happen! The only certainties are that there will be A LOT of people and you will drink A LOT of beer.

For example, when I arrived in Munich on my first day, I wasn’t even planning on going to the festival until the following day. As a solo traveler, I was focused on meeting friends at the hostel and finding a group to go with the next day. As it goes, I immediately met a good group of guys at the hostel bar and we all decided to walk to the festival to “check it out” and get a lay of the landscape. Of course, this was all very naïve thinking as once we got in, we ended smashing several beers (the beers come in liters so one liter is equivalent to about two pints) and consequently got hammered. So much for just checking it out.

Oktoberfest is kind of like one big county fair, but where everyone is dressed up and wildly drunk all day. On the outside portion, there are carnival rides that spin, twist, drop, swing, and launch you (I didn’t go on any because I’m certain I would have vomited) and no shortage of food stands serving delicious Bavarian treats like currywurst, sausages, and pretzels.

The main partying occurs in the tents, however. Actually, they aren’t exactly tents, but large convention- hall-style buildings that are shaped like tents. Anyways, there are over ten of these, each with a slightly different vibe and atmosphere. The two largest tents, the ones I went to, are the Paulaner tent (easily spotted by the giant rotating beer glass above it) and the Hofbrau-Festzelt. These tents hold several thousands of people, but if you don’t have a table reservation you need to get there early to find a spot. We arrived at the Paulaner tent around 3pm on a Tuesday (the weekends are much more crowded and good luck finding a table at one of the main tents there) and were unable to find an open table. We then hopped over to the Hofbrau-Festzelt where we found a table upstairs a bit away from the main stage.

Most tents have different options for beer including lagers, weizens, pilsners, and radlers. It’s definitely a marathon, but I found it extremely difficult to pace myself because 1.) I wanted to finish the large beer before it got warm and 2.) the liter glasses are so heavy when they are full that the only way to relieve your tiring arm is to drink the liquid down. On a side note, the waiters and waitresses at Oktoberfest are incredible as I saw some of them carrying 6 full beers at a time and somehow weaving there way through the overcrowded tents without spilling a drop. All the tents also serve food.

I didn’t go in any of the smaller tents, but I heard from those who did they are also wild and a bit easier to find seats at since there are far fewer people, as everyone is focused on the large tents.

All the tents I went to had a stage with a live band that played a mix of traditional German folk music and drinking songs and popular English sing-along songs like Sweet Caroline (my least favorite song in the world. Read my post A Summer of Salmon: What it’s Like Working in an Alaskan Salmon Processing Plant to find out why) and the YMCA. Those who are a few (or several) beers in stand on the benches of tables to sing and dance along.

This is the point where I essentially blacked out and the rest of the details are very foggy. All I remember was a lot of beer, a lot of singing and dancing, and finally, a lot of stumbling back to my hostel.

I hope this guide helped, somewhat, if you are planning a future trip to Oktoberfest, or at the very least, I hope it kept you entertained.